I discovered I was pregnant in early June. We only told our immediate family right away, but waited until I was at least 3 months along before we told everyone else.

This was not an easy pregnancy for me. Right from the beginning I was very sick all the time and had trouble eating. Matters were also complicated by the fact that I was seeking medical treatment for all of my “unsolved issues.” I have Antiphospholipid Antibody Syndrome (also called APS, Hughes Syndrome or Sticky Blood Syndrome), Hypothyroidism and possibly Lupus & Celiac Disease (currently being evaluated for the 2). I was 4 days away from having a biopsy of my intestines to verify if I had Celiac Disease. After finding out I was expecting, the doctors

immediately canceled the biopsy and placed me on a gluten-free diet. I would have to do the biopsy sometime later after I delivered. Learning how to eat on this new diet proved to be extremely difficult for me because many foods made me ill; and I was restricted to only certain kinds of food.

To complicate matters, it took doctors several weeks to regulate my new thyroid medication. Until the proper dosage was discovered, I was exhausted and sleep about 14-18 hours per day!

Having Dr. Gruenwald as my OB doctor, at the Red Wing Fairview Clinic, proved to be a life-saver. She immediately assessed my medical conditions and realized that I need to seek treatment from a high-risk OB doctor. I was referred to Dr. Ramin in the Maternal Fetal Medicine Department at Fairview-University in Minneapolis.

Dr. Ramin reviewed all of medical records and was on the fence on how to treat me for this pregnancy. Since I had never had a miscarriage or had never had a blood clot, he decided to continue my treatment of one baby aspirin per day, instead of adding heparin shots. This is how doctors currently treat pregnant woman in my situation. Things may have been different if I had had several miscarriages or blood clots in the past. Unfortunately this method of treatment turned out to be wrong.

At 18 weeks I was scheduled for a detailed ultrasound in Minneapolis. At this time, they discovered problems; the placenta looked abnormal and the amniotic fluid was very low. It was believed that there may be a small blood clot in the umbilical cord or the placenta causing these problems. Todd and I were briefed on what this all meant and what the odds were of delivering a healthy child. We felt like the world had come crashing down on us. Dr. Ramin placed me on modified bed-rest, started me on heparin shots (Lovenox) twice a day, and suggested I have an amniocentesis performed to check for any abnormalities of our baby. If the results of this test showed major abnormalities, we would have been faced with the decision of weather to terminate the pregnancy or not at that time. This was because my health and my medical condition. Fortunately, we were not forced to make that horrible decision. The test showed that she did not have any chromosome abnormalities.

The next ultrasound was 4 weeks later; to our surprise things were looking brighter! The placenta looked better and there was ample amount of amniotic fluid. It seemed that the combination of bed-rest and the heparin shots were doing the trick. Todd and I were very hopeful that our little girl was going to make it. Dr. Ramin was optimistic that I could make it to 28 or 30 weeks before they would have to take the baby. He was, however, concerned that her growth would slow down and eventually stop, and he was concerned that I would develop pre-eclampsia as well. Well, unfortunately he turned out to be right on these 2 issues.

At our 26 week ultrasound, everyone realized that Hope had almost stopped growing. They measured her weight to be around 10 ounces. She had what they call, IUGR, Intra Uterine Growth Restriction. This is very common with women who have Hughes Syndrome (Antiphospholipid Antibody Syndrome). To make matters worse, over the last few weeks my blood pressure had slowly been on the rise and I had began spilling trace amounts of protein into my urine.

Dr. Ramin was still hoping to get me to 28 or 30 weeks, while having Hope grow a little more. Knowing she would be very premature, we toured the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) & had a very emotional conversation

with one of the Neonatal doctors. He talked to us about the extremely low odds of a 10 ounce baby surviving and the potential medical issues that could occur if our baby did indeed survive. It was extremely painful to hear all of this. We felt like our world had come crashing down on us once again.

On Wednesday and Thursday I went to the Red Wing Clinic to have steroid shots injections; in hopes that it would help mature her lungs if she were to be delivered soon.

Todd left on Friday for Iowa for a weekend comedy gig. Since I was feeling sad and alone, my mom and dad came on Friday night to bring me out to eat. It was a lovely gesture and I was able to get my mind off of all our sadness. Unfortunately, I woke up around 4am on Saturday morning with intense stomach pain. I thought that it was either indigestion from the food I ate the night before or it was my ulcer coming back due to all the worrying I had been doing. I just tried to take a bath and eat something to make the pain go away. I felt a little better and went back to sleep around 6am. I slept a few hours and the pain was still there, but it had subsided a bit. I really, really thought that it was ulcer pain. But around 5pm, I realized that I needed to go to the hospital to get it checked out. I called over to the emergency room in Red Wing. It was reassuring to hear Wendy Maxwell (a nurse that I knew) on the other end of the phone line. I told her what was wrong and where the pain was. Since I had not described the pain as being concentrated on upper right side (it was all over pain), she thought that maybe it was my gallbladder. I asked her about my Lovenox shot and she told me to take it. If I would have been thinking, I would have NOT taken that shot because of the bleeding risks if they had to put me into surgery.

My parents took me to the emergency room in Red Wing. I did not get seen until almost 8pm. My mom had to beg the woman at the front desk to have a nurse see me. I was in so much pain by this time that I was bawling.

After Wendy and the doctor assessed me, they realized immediately that it was not gallbladder pain, but it was a rare, but serious pregnancy complication called HELLP Syndrome. My blood pressure was on the rise, my platelets were dropping and I was spilling protein into my urine. They knew they needed to get me to Minneapolis fast, so a helicopter was requested. Unfortunately, due to bad weather, they had to turn the helicopter back around and request an ambulance instead. My dad told me that the helicopter was only a mile or so away from Red Wing when they realized that they would not be able to land due to the weather. During all of this, Wendy and another nurse were trying desperately to get an IV started. They were having a difficult time because I was dehydrated due to HELLP Syndrome. After they got the IV started, I just had enough time to get a hold of Todd in Iowa to tell him to that they were transporting me up to Fairview-University and that they were taking the baby that night. Fortunately, I had the phone number to his hotel in my purse. He was between shows and did not have his cell phone on. I called the hotel and asked the front desk clerk if he would happen to know where he was performing. The clerk knew exactly where he was and gave me the phone number to the casino. The casino staff tracked Todd down in the restaurant. I could tell that Todd was in shock because he hardly said anything to me. I only had enough time to briefly tell him what was happening and that they were taking the baby soon.

Before I knew it, I was being wheeled out to the ambulance. I remember the gentleman who was in the back with me was very kind and calming. I think that I even joked with him on several occasions. I must have been trying to block out the fact that I was extremely ill and that I was going to deliver my child that night.

My family made it to Minneapolis before I did! The hospital couldn’t find my name because they had it listed as “Holly Anderson.” So many people mistake “Andrews” for “Anderson.” My family got that straightened out before I got there. They were all very concerned about my health as well as the baby’s.

When I finally got to Fairview Riverside, the ambulance entered into an odd-looking garage. I felt as though I was being wheeled through a creepy, deserted basement! When I got to my room, I remember the first person I meet was my nurse, Erin. She was very kind and caring. They immediately placed more IV’s in my arms and took blood tests. They kept me comfortable and stable. They informed me that they were going to hold off on bringing me into surgery until Todd got there and until my blood thinning medicine wore off a little more. Todd finally got there around 1am, at which

So when they saw that my platelets were at 30,000, they called for 2 bags of platelets to transfuse into me. They also were preparing us for possible outcomes of the surgery. We discussed the baby’s small size and the odds of her making it and we discussed the possibility of not being able to control bleeding. The doctors told us that if the bleeding was too severe and could not be controlled, they would have to perform a hysterectomy.

Since it was now Sunday and now daylight savings, we lost 1 hour. Around 2am, they began the first bag of platelet transfusion. They were going to bring me into surgery soon, but decided to take another woman into emergency surgery before me. They knew that I was stabilized enough and I was getting more platelets, so the team of doctors thought it was best to try and hold off on the surgery until around 4am (which was then a full 12 hours after I took my blood thinning injection). This decision most likely made a huge difference in the amount of blood that I lost during surgery. They stated that I lost a normal amount of blood and that the bleeding was easy to control.

Before going into surgery I asked Todd if we could name our baby girl, Hope Nora Andrews. I wanted her name to be Hope because we were always hoping and praying that she would make it. He said yes.

Sometime around 4am they rolled me down the hallway into the operation room. I remember the room being very bright with lights and filled with silver, sterile equipment. I remember seeing Erin (my nurse), Dr. Williams (the Maternal Fetal Medicine Doctor on call that night who delivered our baby), the anesthesiologist, another nurse and another woman. I was shaking so badly that I asked one of the doctors what was going on. He said that it was because of the high levels of magnesium that they had me on. Before I knew it, they placed a mask over my nose and mouth, and I was under.

Hope Nora Andrews was officially born at 4:27am on October 31, 2004. She weighed 10.1 ounces and was 9 inches in length.

Hope was perfectly beautiful and looked like her daddy. She had daddy's mouth, nose and chin ... she even had a redish tint to her eye-lashes.

A nurse came to get Todd and led him to the operation room where I was. The doctors were blocking me so Todd couldn’t see me on the operating table. One of the nurses handed Todd our baby. They had tried their best to save her, but she was too small and they were unable to get the medical

longer and kept her by my side, close to me. I didn’t though. I let her sit by herself away from my touch. I can’t blame myself, though. The nurses needed access to me and I was hooked up to a ton of machines. I was also very sleepy and confused from the HELLP Syndrome and surgery; I wasn’t thinking clearly. It just still breaks my heart to know that I held her for only a few seconds, and it was after she had passed away. I wish I could have her back (if only for a few minutes more) to hold her, kiss her and tell her that I love her. Even though we have pictures, I would give anything to touch her precious, angelic face again.

I guess that I pretty much rested all day on Sunday and most of Monday. I recall that during the night on Sunday/Monday morning, I had heartburn. They gave me a chewable antacid pill that made it even worse! I could not sleep because I was having such problems. They said that they never had anyone have a reaction like that before. It was horrible! I was just so tired and wanted to get uninterrupted sleep. Then on Monday morning, I recall getting woke up by the med student and my nurse when they were doing rounds. I think she said something about “my baby” which made me confused. I could not remember anything! I was so confused that I could not recall delivery my baby and I did not remember that she had died. I didn’t know what was going on and I started to panic. The nurse went out immediately and called Todd to have him come back up to the hospital. Poor Todd….he was so extremely tired and emotionally drained.

Most of the day on Monday was spent in my dark room sleeping. Todd was there with me, and some people sent us flowers. In the evening on Monday I remember the nurse getting me out of bed to sit in a chair. Todd spent the night in my room on a bed they provided for him. That night he did not get much sleep due to beepers going off non-stop. Anytime my breathing became too shallow, the alarm would go off. It was so sensitive and going off all the time.

On Tuesday they moved me to a different section of that floor, so I would not hear crying babies and woman in delivery. I was pretty much isolated; but I felt more comfortable being away from the “major action.” It was after the move that I started to make real progress. Along with the nurses, I forced myself to get up and start going to the bathroom and walking down the hallway. It hurt, but it really helped to begin healing by getting up and moving around.

Also on Tuesday, I allowed people to come visit me. I was getting lonely and needed the company. My parents came with Cyndie in the afternoon. Later in the evening, Darren, Traci and the girls came to see me. Tina and Shawn were also there to see me.

On Wednesday they decided to let me go home. I was suppose to have stayed there until Friday, but I made such good progress that they said I could go home. Plus Todd really wanted to get me home.

I remember being pushed in a wheelchair out of the hospital that evening. Right as we were going down the hallway, the music started to play indicating that a baby was born. I started to cry. The realization hit me …. I was leaving the hospital with empty arms. Hope was not coming home with us.

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HOPE NORA ANDREWS

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